Just like the song says, I'm another day older and deeper in debt.  I've always been a fan of birthdays due to that whole "receiving presents" thing.  And check this ... for the privilege of being born, people treat you nice and want to take you out to eat and throw you surprise parties and such.  What a neat racket we have going.

But in all actuality, it's just another day in the 365.242199 days it takes to revolve around the sun.  What it means past the age of twenty-five is completely different than before age twenty-five.  It means another tick on the ole bald-o-meter, a slower metabolism which results in easier weight gain, more wheezing during sex than you've ever experienced, etc.  It means I'm headed downhill.

You know what I'd like to see?  Instead of a celebration for the day you were born, how about a celebration for the day you were conceived?  Happy Conception Day, I'd call it.

I finally saw the Borat movie a few weeks ago and although I laughed pretty hard at parts of it, I must confess that it wasn't a great movie. I'm pretty much a movie snob, flicks like Fargo and The Fisher King and Memento are what turn me on. But occasionally, I love a good action flick or a miraculous sports movie or a stupid funny movie, some mindless drivel that plays with your emotions or makes you laugh for the sake of laughing.

I was talking with a friend the other day and he suddenly turned to me and said, "Do you smell that?"  My instinctive reaction was to say, "It wasn't me," but that's not what he was talking about.  He said, "It smells like warm milk."

I remember thinking, "Oh-kay."  I may have even scrunched my face together.  What an odd thing to smell.

Then he said, "I love that smell," and I think I subconsciously moved a few inches away from him.  Tell me I'm not the only one that thinks that's an odd odor to love?  So naturally, me being my inquisitive self, I asked him why.  And after he explained, it all made perfect sense.

I don't remember just how old I was, probably around seven or eight.  We had taken a family vacation to the beach and were staying with my aunt and uncle.  My uncle's older son and daughter from a previous marriage were there, too.  They'd just taught me how to play poker, Las Vegas style, and the girl cousin (let's call her Cynthia) asked if I wanted to hear a joke.  I said, sure, yeah.

Then she said it was a dirty joke and I believe my exact reaction was complete awe.  Not only was I going to hear a dirty joke from an "almost grown-up" (which is different than hearing one on the playground from your best friend who's also seven), but my older cousin, a GIRL and a hottie in her own right, was going to tell it to me.  Could life be any more perfect for a seven year old boy?