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Ross Cavins

Ross went by Time Warner yesterday to drop off my old cable modem; not a soul was there. I wondered if the place was closed. While I was there, two other people came in. I left and as I walked to my car (1 of 3 in the parking lot), a woman stopped beside me, rolled down her window, and asked, "Is there a long line in there?" I'm a firm believer that you should have to pass an IQ test to get a driver's license.

“Go sit in the corner.”

- Mrs. Causey, my 3rd grade teacher

Written by Ross Cavins
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
I was playing Scrabble yesterday and I began to wonder if they televised the Scrabble championships. They have them, you know, because I've read about them. But do they televise them? Do they provide play-by-play with color commentary?
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Movie Review: Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Written by Ross Cavins
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Gayness Personified *Spider-man 1* didn't trip my trigger and *Spider-man 2* slightly redeemed the series. But *Spider-man 3* was the gayest of all three. With such cheap tricks as an unexplained meteorite, short-term amnesia and hullaballoo science via a particle accelerator ... Spiderman 3 dips deep into Hollywood's wastebasket. Add to that a cobbled-together plot with three (count'em-three!) villains and a love quadrangle, and you have the big-budget movie that just couldn't.
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The Yard Art Phenomenon

Written by Ross Cavins
Tuesday, 08 January 2008
A Garden Gnome. An epidemic has swept the South, one of epic proportions that threatens the very underpinnings of good taste. We've all seen it and we've all commented on it, it's the phenomenon of yard art and it's a plague that seems to have set in for the long haul. Yard art takes on many forms, from your traditional gnomes (made popular by a certain internet travel site) to your pink flamingos to your garden variety ceramic rabbits. There's yard art to match every whim and mood you might need.
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The Lyric Mangler

Written by Ross Cavins
Friday, 04 January 2008
It's a complete mystery to me. How my five year old nephew can remember the words to every song he hears. How he can recite entire passages from movies verbatim. I don't understand, he must have a gene I don't. I can't even sing a Christmas song completely through without substituting words that sound the same. I'm what's called a Lyric Mangler. I'm the guy who sings to every song he hears, and gets only 80% of the words correct. I can hit the notes (most the time), but I can never remember the words. Never. Give me any song, from any era, and I guarantee I will screw it up.
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Rudolph Sends Wrong Message

Written by Ross Cavins
Monday, 17 December 2007
The Original Rudolph Booklet The song of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dates from 1939, when the Chicago-based Montgomery Ward company asked one of their copywriters to come up with a Christmas story they could give away to shoppers as a promotional gimmick. Robert L. May rejected a few names for the story (Rollo, Reginald) before landing upon Rudolph as the star of his short booklet. It wasn't until later when May's brother-in-law and songwriter, Johnny Marks, developed the lyrics and melody for the song we all know and love, that the phenomenon really took off. Gene Autry recorded the song in 1949, sold two million copies in that same year, and propelled it to an American Christmas standard.
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