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“What the? I didn't create this!” - God
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Look out for the newest fitness fad that's sweeping the nation! It's the exercise craze that's got Hollywood stars Matthew McConaughey and Katherine Heigel looking like a million dollars. It's…
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I did it. Despite the advice of a trusted movie friend, I watched the musical, Across The Universe. This was a leap for me, you see, because other than Grease,…
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I never played football growing up because my mom wouldn't let me. I was accident prone enough without adding eleven guys to the equation, all in pads (read: armor)…
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Recently, I entered my wife and I into a "Couple's Best" contest where you submit a 200 word story of how you met and people vote on the best story. …
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I was born in 1971 and I was given my first album in the late seventies. And it was an actual album, not an 8-track or a tape cassette (CDs…
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I heard someone talking yesterday about how this pastor and his church owned half a city block and had a membership of more than five thousand people. By "Big City"…
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My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I…
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You know what's great about a weekday matinee movie? Not only is it cheaper but every once in a while, you can get the whole place to yourself.
It's…
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I had a dream last night, of a girl. A girl I'd had a crush on since elementary school. We all have that girl (or guy), the one we noticed…
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Second grade. His name was Marvin. He was in first grade but he was my age. He either failed or was held back or started late. And no, I don't…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Monday, 04 February 2008 03:43 |
 Diet Mountain Dew
It was the day I traded in my Mountain Dew for Diet Mountain Dew. That fateful moment in history when I surrendered to the fact that my metabolism wasn't what it used to be.
I was sad that day as I realized my youth was truly gone. A 12-ounce can of Coke has the same amount of sugar as 2 candy bars. Isn't that amazing? The moment I compared the two, it became painfully obvious that my soda days as I knew them were over. My eyes had opened. There was no going back.
So I made a commitment to drink diet sodas 99.9% of the time I had to have that effervescent carbonation, no matter how nasty the diet drinks tasted. It was a paradigm shift in my thinking and a major lifestyle change (considering my addiction to Mountain Dew). I felt like a politician switching from liberal Democrat to conservative Republican. The whole world completely upended.
It probably took a month before that diet drink after-taste melted into nothing but a memory. It was a rough time because before my epiphany, diet drinks were the scourge of the liquid refreshment world. They tasted funny and the only people who bought them were fatties and women.
You wouldn't catch me dead drinking a diet cola.
Oh well, if anyone needs me, I'll be at the grocery store, buying some Diet Mountain Dews, Lean Cuisines and Tampax.
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