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“You're projecting.” - Wife Number Two, the Counselor
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Can you blame me for adding stuff to it?By the time anyone reads this, I'll have been through the experience and we can all laugh about it. But right now,…
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For 37 years now, I have been an extremely picky eater. I can't help it, it's just who I am. I won't eat certain foods for the stupidest reasons. What…
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I have a legitimate question: What type of person buys the mid-octane gas? In America, we're sold three octane levels of gas at the pump; 87, 89 and 92 (or…
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Growing up, I was kind of a goody-two-shoes. I really never did anything wrong. I was only grounded once (a story for another time). I lived my mischievousness out vicariously…
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It's as simple as that. This article could end right now and you'd all know what I meant without me having to go into it. But where's the fun in…
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UNC vs DukeEvery year about this time, legions of ACC fans begin to tingle with excitement. The hardwoods have opened up and college basketball is well underway. Power teams are…
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Okay, first, if you're looking for actual scientific data, you're looking in the wrong place. I'm totally pulling all this stuff out of my rear but since my rear has…
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The world is an amazing place. Doctors and scientists find cures for diseases every day. We communicate through tiny waves sent to space in spectrums that we can neither see…
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My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I…
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Okay, here's the deal: My office was broken into over the 4th of July holiday. My computer, my brand new Dell computer, was stolen along with all my personal stuff…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:15 |
 I don't look this gay. Remember when you were a kid and it was a big deal to go to the grocery store? Do you recall why it meant so much to you? Did it by any chance have anything to do with the venerated cereal aisle?
Ahh, that cereal aisle, offering children the grandest of choices in sugary foods known to man. Cereals of rice, corn or oats; transfused with amazing sucralicsious sugar.
Sugar frosted. Sugar filled. Sugar smacked.
Trapezoidal. Circular. Flaky. Woven.
Wonderfully formed shapes of wholesome goodness, infused with enough sugar to keep a kid hyper through the morning and sometimes, if you were lucky, right on up until the last school bell.
Cereal formed into little chocolate chip cookies. Marshmallows of all flavors and colors and shapes. Cocoa-laced puffiness that chafed the top of your mouth after the third bowl.
 Cereal Yum.
Cereal that talked to you, popped and crackled and snapped its approval. Cereal that sang its sweet tune from the kitchen to your bedroom, enticing you to rise from the warm grogginess of your covers and face the day. Cereal that offered you essential vitamins and whole grains and promises of a well-balanced breakfast.
Intricate little prizes of molded plastic, toys that pushed the imagination, secret rings of invincibility. Maps and puzzles and trivia on the back. Mail-in offers on the side that cost three box tops plus $1.99 shipping and handling.
Read the box while you slurp up milk and crunch your way through the foggy morning, building boundless energy through carbs and sugar and pure youthful vigor.
Ah, the magnificent cereal of my youth, you will always have a place close to my heart.
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