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“Go sit in the corner.” - Mrs. Causey, my 3rd grade teacher
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*not actual nephew I learned something this past weekend that disturbs me. My four year old nephew Joey has a big schlong. It's so big that it gets talked about. …
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My friend Jeff and I were heading out for burgers when he pulled the top of his boxers out of his pants and said, "You know how long I've had…
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Everyone remembers a couple bullies from their school years. But there's usually one in particular that always stands out. He was the meanest, snottiest excuse for a human being on…
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Second grade. Mrs. Mim's class. It was a time of innocence and playfulness. We were kids who knew nothing of the gas shortage or the real world. The nation had…
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The lungs provide our bodies with life-giving oxygen. The heart pumps our blood, the kidneys filter our system, the eyes provide visual representations of the world around us. We've even…
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Back in high school, I worked in the shoe department at Sears in the mall. I started the summer before in Personnel but when school came around, I moved out…
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Well, I thought I'd try something a little different this week. My bio and profile on other sites always talks about my cat and how awesome he is (but whiny)…
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Dangerous LuggageI caught the ass end of a movie on cable today. I don't remember the name of it but it doesn't matter. What I want to point out is…
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I know this seems to be a recurring motif, but in my younger years, I wasn't too swift. Oh sure, I had my IQ points and I did well in…
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One for every mood.All men eventually experience that first time in the condom aisle. Be it in the local drug store or the 7-11 down the street, we've all had…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 11 May 2008 18:00 |
 Cute and Cuddly Gismo. Wus.
It was a horror film.
I know Spike laughed all the time, and he seemed to generally be goofing around at first. But that was only until he began killing anything that moved. And he didn't just kill, he killed with wild glee. He blew people up and lit them on fire. He even killed his evil Gremlin buddies and laughed about it.
And all Gismo could do was gurgle and look cute.
The movie stigmatized me. I was horrified beyond the norm. I expected to see a movie filled with cute furry little animals and I got the complete opposite. I experienceda horror that changed my whole life. Gremlins gave me nightmares. At twelve years of age, I awoke in the middle of the night with a vision of my kittens exploding in the microwave. I saw power tools chasing me, ready to gnash and gnaw my flesh to the bone. I was afraid to close my eyes again. I immediately hopped in the bed with my kid sister. I couldn't sleep alone.
The Gremlins were in the house.
To this day, I have not lived down my Gremlins nightmares. They are now a part of my fragile psyche and I still get cold bumps when I see a still shot from the movie. I've never watched it a second time. Last week, I downloaded some classics for my two young nephews to watch, movies that I loved as a kid. E.T. and Goonies and other such films.
I told my sister what I was doing and she paused. She looked at me and said one thing, "You didn't download 'Gremlins' did you?" Then she laughed. Hard.
I blame Gremlins for everything wrong in my life.
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