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“You're projecting.” - Wife Number Two, the Counselor
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*not actual nephew I learned something this past weekend that disturbs me. My four year old nephew Joey has a big schlong. It's so big that it gets talked about. …
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It's the new millennium and has been for quite a few years. The definition of what constitutes a man is being rewritten on a daily basis. Not only is he…
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Second grade. His name was Marvin. He was in first grade but he was my age. He either failed or was held back or started late. And no, I don't…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 15 June 2008 19:00 |
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 We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving. That's how the song goes and even though tons of stars banded together to record it for a good cause, I hate the song with an intense passion.
Why, you may ask? Why would I hate this symbol of world peace and solidarity? Why would I abhor this early Eighties collaboration among some of my favorite artists?
Because morons sang it, that's why.
Let me explain. I'm not referring to the individuals who recorded "We Are The World." I'm referring to the idiot morons in my middle school at the time who sang it incessantly like it was the best thing since parachute pants.
These people were the preppy kids who had money and thought that made them cool. Correction: Their parents had money.
You know the kind. You remember them too. They wore the expensive clothes only because the clothes were expensive. They were the kids who goofed off in class, thinking they were above everything, then cheated regularly to make the same grade you earned the hard way. They were the same pukeheads who later drove the brand new convertible to school while you puttered along in a five year old junker held together by spit, determination and bondo.
I have a distinct memory lodged in my mind of these social miscreants sitting on the bleachers, arms around each other, bodies swaying as they sang the song. Some were even doing impersonations of the artists. While wearing their Izod shirts and Jordache jeans.
They were out of touch with the real world about which they sang. And this irony is probably what ticked me off more than them leading their charmed lives they did nothing to deserve other than be born with a platinum spoon in their mouth. These rich popular bastardos and their hypocritical ways.
These were the same kids who populated the school's S.A.D.D. chapter. Ninety percent of them drank wine coolers in the school bathroom and every Friday night, drove home drunk from a wild party.
"We Are The World" is more than just a song to me. It is a reminder of what I will never let my kids become. They will never take anything for granted and they will always be respecful to others. They will say what they mean and mean what they say. And most of all, my kids will never bow to peer pressure to be accepted in society. I didn't and look how good I effing turned out.
We are the world.
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