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Now, from one of America's unsung writers, Ross Cavins, comes a book so humorous, so vile, so inane ... it could only be a cry for help.
Coming in early December, 2008, just in time for the Christmas season.
If you're looking for that perfect gift to give the person who has everything, this is it. Because they definitely don't have it.
Plus, when they're done, they can re-gift it to someone and spread the love. The love of Ross Cavins and his infinite ego.
Follow The Money is a collection of eleven ten interconnected short stories, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone (and those of the people within your direct vicinity). You'll want to read it over and over again. In fact, you'll want several copies to give to friends and loved ones.
Imagine the feeling of driving a brand new 1978 Trans Am (with the T-tops off) down the open road. Now imagine wearing a thin t-shirt that says AC/DC in bold black letters, a pair of really short shorts, some red-striped socks pulled up to your knees, and a pair of beat-up Converses. Now turn on the radio so loud you can't hear that the motor needs a tune-up. Now hold it for a second ... If you want to feel this good all the time, you should get this book!
Get your very own copy NOW!!
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What do Peanut Butter Crunch, cowboy boots and Jesus all have in common?
What if you add Heineken, hot peppers and Katie Couric to the equation?
Or how about nose hair trimmers, a golden Bible, and car trouble?
Still don't know?
You will if you . . .
Follow The Money.
For a limited time, I'm offering signed copies for $11 (shipping included to US 48). Paypal me the money at
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with your address and anything you'd like me to write inside the book.
Or you can purchase directly from my E-store for $10.99 plus shipping.
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Excerpts from Follow The Money
From "The Drop"
… Clint closed his eyes and pursed his lips, wondering if God wanted him to be the older brother, why he didn't go ahead and make him the older brother? …
From "The Investment"
… That's what women that looked like her did. They never earned the money themselves, they stole it with a marriage certificate and a promise of amazing sex for the rest of your life. You paid for it one way or another …
From "Sammy's Night Out"
… The dude with the gun was jerking his head back and forth, spinning around and trying to look everywhere at once. Sammy wondered if he'd ever done this before, stuck up a place, cause he didn't look too sure of himself …
From "A Loaded Gun"
… Five seconds, that's all it took for Calvin to pop the lock. Fifteen more seconds and he had it started, some Amy Grant crap coming out of the speakers. Junior sat there with his mouth open watching Calvin do his thing when he should have been watching for the owners coming out of the restaurant …
From "Everybody's Got A Magic Number"
… He twisted at his waist, still stretching and looking like that curly-headed queer that sold the Oldies workout tapes his ex-wife always bought. She only used them a couple times, Dwayne said once, so her ass was still the size of Montana …
From "Have Fun Tonight"
… The girl EMT gasped when she saw it, her eyes widening like she was in sixth grade seeing one for the first time, like they'd snuck in the girl's bathroom during library and he pulled it out just for her …
From "Sweating Brother Bill"
… Now this preacher, Brother Bill, was up there in his preacher's robe, getting himself all worked up talking about lambs and daughters and patience and lust and sin, and it was getting Ruth and Agnes all worked up watching him sweat, picturing him in tight jeans and an unbuttoned shirt, gyrating to some loud bass beat that was so deep it shook the clasp on your wonder bra …
From "Toe Thumb"
… As soon as she opened the front door, Frankie heard Fayrene neighing like a horse in heat. When Frankie got back to the bedroom, she saw Fayrene with her legs in the air, Harold between them giving it to her hard with nothing on but black socks …
From "For The Road"
… Wally shrugged to himself and got out, pulling up his pants cause he never had a belt that was the right size. They were always too tight or too loose, never fit like the belts on the models in the JC Penny ads. Of course, JC Penny didn't have models with a gut and cowboy boots. …
From "Channel Ten"
… Talking about how he was raising money for America's youth, how they were coming up short on how much it was costing to build Savior Land USA, and if you could find it in your loving heart, send in twenty or forty or, God bless you a hundred or two, and they'd be able to construct the main attraction, the Screaming Tower of Babylon…
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