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“You are one funny dude.” - S. Milton, some guy I know
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I heard someone talking yesterday about how this pastor and his church owned half a city block and had a membership of more than five thousand people. By "Big City"…
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Back in high school, I worked in the shoe department at Sears in the mall. I started the summer before in Personnel but when school came around, I moved out…
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Cute and Cuddly Gismo. Wus.When I was younger, much younger, the movie " Gremlins " was released. I was twelve when we went to see it in the theatre…
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A Garden Gnome.An epidemic has swept the South, one of epic proportions that threatens the very underpinnings of good taste. We've all seen it and we've all commented on it,…
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There are two kinds of toilet paper: the good stuff and the other stuff. The good stuff is fluffy and squeezably soft while the other stuff is scratchy and noticably…
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After succumbing to the inevitable metabolism death, I underwent The Great Diet Switch . Since that fateful day when I swore off regular sodas, I have rarely to…
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The lungs provide our bodies with life-giving oxygen. The heart pumps our blood, the kidneys filter our system, the eyes provide visual representations of the world around us. We've even…
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I don't care what anyone says or how many people give me wedgies for this but I think Martha Stewart is hot. Before the email barage begins, have you seen…
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In the American South, we are raised with manners as a matter of breeding. We are taught to hold open doors for complete strangers, help those in need and say…
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My friend Jeff and I were heading out for burgers when he pulled the top of his boxers out of his pants and said, "You know how long I've had…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Monday, 29 June 2009 04:14 |
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 I've written about how our nation's spelling acuities have decreased since the advent of the internet. As a people, we spell bad. Real bad. But something that often escapes us is how bad our grammar is.
Now granted, I have a Computer Science degree, not an English degree. So in many instances, I'm as guilty as the rest of you. But that is no excuse. Bad grammar is bad grammar.
I think the problem of bad grammar arises from the fact that we speak a certain way, and write another. For instance, did you notice in the first paragraph how I complained about how bad we spell? Verbatim, I wrote, "We spell bad."
Bad is an adjective that can only be used to describe a noun. However, I used it as an adverb. Adverbs describe verbs and adjectives.
When I wrote "bad" above, I wasn't describing "we," I was describing "spell." The verb. Because even though we can't spell, that doesn't mean we are bad people.
To be correct, I should have written, "We spell badly."
(Remember how LY-words are adverbs?)
Once this was pointed out to me the other day by an English professor friend of mine, I began to see how many times I misused adjectives when I really meant to use adverbs. Can we say a plethora?
No, really, can you say it? It's fun; try it.
Oh, and since we're on the topic of misusing words, notice the title of this piece? "Myriad" is not a noun, it is an adjective. And I almost always see it misused.
It is a beautiful word and doesn't deserve the substandard treatment we give it.
The correct title should be something like "Myriad Grammar Problems" but for some reason, that just sounds weird to us, doesn't it? If it helps, try substituting a synonym in it's place.
Which sounds correct? "A Countless of Grammar Problems" or "Countless Grammar Problems"?
Of course, any time you mention grammar problems, it becomes mandatory to mention (your, you're) and (there, their, they're) and (its, it's). They are the granddaddies of grammar misuse.
By the way, catch my misuse of "it's" three paragraphs above?
If so, there's hope for you yet.
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