Ross Cavins humor author novels twitter Follow The Money - hilarious book original idea Follow The Money - humor novelist
 
 
 

You're projecting.

- Wife Number Two, the Counselor
 

Home
Newest Blogs
Oldest Blogs
Short Stories
Movie Reviews
Book Reviews
Bad Poetry
Dirty Comics
Recommended Books
Recommended Music
Touch My Fridge
Shameless T-Shirts
About Me
Email Me!!!



HackWriters.com
USADeepSouth.com
SwillMagazine.com
HissQuarterly.com
Buran.it (Italian)
DeadMule.com

Chuck and Cletus 2.com
News Satire and Funny Photos.

 Subscribe in a reader





Scrivel.com
Humor-Blogs.com



Top Blogs
Blog Directory
Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Find Blogs in the Blog
Directory


Blog Search Engine
The Humor Directory
Blog Flux Directory
HumorLinks
Blogging Fusion

spacer.png, 0 kB
  • It's every humor writer's goal to write humor that is not only funny, but lasts a lifetime.  A good humorist strives to make his experiences in life relatable and enjoyable…
  • I was talking with my Mom and Dad the other day and I asked if they'd been to Savannah yet.  My Mom said they hadn't and my Dad spoke up…
  • I don't remember just how old I was, probably around seven or eight.  We had taken a family vacation to the beach and were staying with my aunt and uncle. …
  • Day Three was filled with travel, lots of it. And by travel, I mean sitting on our asses in a car. That’s  because we drove 4 hours to the birthplace…
  • I don't look this gay.First, The Great Cereal Blog (part 1) Remember when you were a kid and it was a big deal to go to the grocery store? …
  • Dangerous LuggageI caught the ass end of a movie on cable today.  I don't remember the name of it but it doesn't matter.  What I want to point out is…
  • Yesterday, someone asked me how my day was.  I took a few seconds and then told them, "Pretty good, got a lot done.  Yep, it was a pretty good day." …
  • Among the many number of things I did wrong with my two wives, I did a great many correct.  It takes a lot to make a marriage work and outside…
  • * Not actual party. I went to a Super Bowl Party this past Sunday and saw a friend I hadn't seen in almost ten years.  It was good to catch…
  • In days long gone, the dinner table served as a gathering place for families.  It was the social gathering site where the day was recounted over a hot cooked meal,…


 
   
Long Schlongs PDF Print E-mail
Written by Ross Cavins   
Sunday, 02 November 2008 19:00

Image
*not actual nephew
I learned something this past weekend that disturbs me.  My four year old nephew Joey has a big schlong.  It's so big that it gets talked about.  The boy is set for life.

I didn't learn this by giving him a bath or anything.  I learned it from my mom.

The other day, she gave his six year old brother a bath.  He was sitting on a tub chair and the water lapped just above his privates.  He yelled for my mom to look!  "Look!  My weenie's floating!"

My mom laughed and said something like, "Good, good.  Now turn around and let me get behind your ears."

In itself, that was funny.  I could end there.  But there was more.

He looked at my mom and said, "If this was Joey, his weenie would be touching the chair."

Let that sink in a moment.  When a six year old boy regards his four year old brother's penis as large, it's probably not an exaggeration.

Mom laughed as she told me this, eyes glistening and cheeks rosy.  I questioned her if this was really so, did my nephew in fact have a big winkie?  She said yes, that when the boy was born, my sister thought something was wrong.  She called my mom in and pointed at it, saying, "I think something's wrong.  Look at it.  It's huge."

With a straight face, my mom told her, "He takes after my side of the family."

In case you're wondering, I didn't get those mutant genetics.

Ten years from now, when Joey is beginning to think about girls, I'll hopefully be an accomplished writer and novelist.  I can see it now.  Joey will want to brag on his uncle.  He'll take one of my books to school, a collection of entertaining blogs, and give it to a girl he likes.  

He'll say, "That's my uncle.  He's a famous writer.  I earmarked a few pages for you."

 

 
article thumbnailA Visit To Hardees

I ran to the grocery store today to get some onions for the homemade spaghetti sauce I'm making for dinner, and the trip took me by a Hardees restaurant. The guy behind the counter was obviously on  [ ... ]


article thumbnailA Letter to Arby's

Dear Arby's,

First, I would like to begin by thanking you for the invention of the curly fry.  It is amazing, with its unique shape and lovely spices; it is indeed a credit to American ingenuity.

But [ ... ]


Other Articles
 
spacer.png, 0 kB
spacer.png, 0 kB
   
RCG Hosting - admin - Copyright © 2007-2010 Ross Cavins