Short Stories | Ross Cavins Author https://rosscavins.com Author, Funny Humor and such. Sun, 02 Nov 2014 16:40:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Fat Chance https://rosscavins.com/fat-chance/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:30:13 +0000 http://www.rosscavins.com/2007/11/27/fat-chance/ This short story was originally published at hackwriters.com in October 2007.  Can’t you just feel the cynicism?     I was once on a reality TV show where the contestant who lost the most weight won the prize money.  I never saw so many fatties in one place making fools of themselves for a hundred […]

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]]> The Other Twin https://rosscavins.com/the-other-twin/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:27:20 +0000 http://www.rosscavins.com/2007/11/27/the-other-twin/ This short story was published at hackwriters.com in October 2007.  It is based almost entirely on a true story.   IT WAS 1968, a summer of love, and so it was with Martha and Odell.  They had three girls, the youngest at sixteen months, and another child on the way.  Back then, you didn’t know […]

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]]> A Plate of Happiness https://rosscavins.com/a-plate-of-happiness/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:08:22 +0000 http://www.rosscavins.com/2007/07/09/a-plate-of-happiness/ I WAS ONLY THERE for lunch but when I saw her for the first time, I knew there was a higher purpose.  She was wearing what all the other waitresses were, a pair of black slacks grayed from too many washings with a white dress shirt and pair of black shoes.  She was immaculate except […]

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]]> Don’t Use The Kleenex https://rosscavins.com/dont-use-the-kleenex/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:06:09 +0000 http://www.rosscavins.com/2007/07/09/dont-use-the-kleenex/ (They're for company)     MY DAD.  What a character.  He was full of these little gems of wisdom when I was growing up.  Hold a door open and you get … What are you trying to do, heat the outside? Or its summer counterpart, You trying to cool the outside?            Pinch […]

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]]> The Cat https://rosscavins.com/the-cat/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:57:54 +0000 http://www.rosscavins.com/2007/07/09/the-cat/ from an unpublished collection, Fireside Tales of Jamestown ——- An homage to the king of horror, Edgar Allen Poe ——-  I HAD A CAT ONCE, when I was young.  It was black as a moonless night in the country with snow white paws.  Sometimes, in the dark, you could only see it coming by the […]

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]]> Monkeys Pushing Buttons https://rosscavins.com/monkeys-pushing-buttons/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:44:06 +0000 http://www.rosscavins.com/2007/07/09/monkeys-pushing-buttons/ WILLIAM JOHNSTON AWOKE Friday morning a different man. He didn't know it yet which made it all the more surprising to him. But he'd figure it out, in time. That's the way it always works.         The first thing he did that morning was take a nice hot shower.  Only that day, it was […]

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