The 40-Year-Old Virgin

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Dear Diary, I am 40 years old, and today, I finally lost my virginity. No, not that virginity; today, I changed my first diaper. I know what you're thinking: You're 40 and you just changed your first diaper? It's hard to believe, I know, but I'm a guy. There have...

Things You Can Get For Five Bucks

Things You Can Get For Five Bucks

The interwebs has changed everything. Not only can I order my Dominos pizza online, but I can control a client's computer or discover new music or research Germany, all from the comfort of my duct-taped captain's chair. But the newest thing I've discovered is what I...

A Letter to Arby’s

A Letter to Arby’s

Dear Arby's, First, I would like to begin by thanking you for the invention of the curly fry.  It is amazing, with its unique shape and lovely spices; it is indeed a credit to American ingenuity. But having said that, there are a few things I would like to mention,...