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“What a loser.” - Anthony, the bully in grade school
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I did it. Despite the advice of a trusted movie friend, I watched the musical, Across The Universe. This was a leap for me, you see, because other than Grease,…
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I have a legitimate question. Why can't food stains be pretty? One day, you're sitting there minding your own business, eating a perfectly good chili burger and when you bring…
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It's here, it's finally here! I never thought it would come but now it has. Dove Season officially opened in North Carolina on Labor Day!!
Yep, you heard me. …
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People can be divied into two types and it seems as if most women belong to that one group I don't. You know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about…
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The property management place where I work is moving offices and I was put in charge of coordinating all the utilities and services migration. In other words, I had to…
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My only regret, Front Wheel Drive. In 2001, when the Pontiac Aztek first came out, it was reviled as one of the ugliest cars ever made. At the auto show…
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One for every mood.All men eventually experience that first time in the condom aisle. Be it in the local drug store or the 7-11 down the street, we've all had…
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Dishwater Johnson is a guy everyone knows. We see him everywhere. In a McDonald's drive-thru paying with a hundred. At a construction site with his hat on backwards. In a…
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About twenty years ago, I went to an old soda shop style restaurant in downtown Burlington named Zack's. Their main fare was hot dogs and Cokes in ten ounce glass…
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Written by Ross Cavins
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Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:15 |
 I don't look this gay. Remember when you were a kid and it was a big deal to go to the grocery store? Do you recall why it meant so much to you? Did it by any chance have anything to do with the venerated cereal aisle?
Ahh, that cereal aisle, offering children the grandest of choices in sugary foods known to man. Cereals of rice, corn or oats; transfused with amazing sucralicsious sugar.
Sugar frosted. Sugar filled. Sugar smacked.
Trapezoidal. Circular. Flaky. Woven.
Wonderfully formed shapes of wholesome goodness, infused with enough sugar to keep a kid hyper through the morning and sometimes, if you were lucky, right on up until the last school bell.
Cereal formed into little chocolate chip cookies. Marshmallows of all flavors and colors and shapes. Cocoa-laced puffiness that chafed the top of your mouth after the third bowl.
 Cereal Yum.
Cereal that talked to you, popped and crackled and snapped its approval. Cereal that sang its sweet tune from the kitchen to your bedroom, enticing you to rise from the warm grogginess of your covers and face the day. Cereal that offered you essential vitamins and whole grains and promises of a well-balanced breakfast.
Intricate little prizes of molded plastic, toys that pushed the imagination, secret rings of invincibility. Maps and puzzles and trivia on the back. Mail-in offers on the side that cost three box tops plus $1.99 shipping and handling.
Read the box while you slurp up milk and crunch your way through the foggy morning, building boundless energy through carbs and sugar and pure youthful vigor.
Ah, the magnificent cereal of my youth, you will always have a place close to my heart.
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