Goldie Hawn and the Prius
"Housesitter" ran on TBS this past weekend (written in mid-July). I kept the sound off while I tried to write about different things. I read through the paper where it talked about Toyota building its Prius here in the U.S. That's not funny. I read where investors...
Across The Universe
I did it. Despite the advice of a trusted movie friend, I watched the musical, Across The Universe. This was a leap for me, you see, because other than Grease, I have hated every musical every produced. I even hate musicals I've never seen. Why? I don't know. ...
Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
After succumbing to the inevitable metabolism death, I underwent The Great Diet Switch . Since that fateful day when I swore off regular sodas, I have rarely to drink one. When a diet choice is available, even a particularly nasty one, I always take it. Such is my...
Getting There From Here
Men can be defined in more ways than having a penis. We like our sports, whether we're playing them or watching them. We fart in our sleep even if we swear up and down that we don't. And we love to give directions. Men will even compete over who has the best...
The Disappearance of Things
The Fading LP The world is constantly evolving. It is inevitable; all that is now, will be no more. Traditions are but man's futile attempts to preserve a way of life. But traditions are easily corrupted. Such is the disappearance of things. Remember when dads had...
The Story of Dishwater Johnson
Dishwater Johnson is a guy everyone knows. We see him everywhere. In a McDonald's drive-thru paying with a hundred. At a construction site with his hat on backwards. In a Wal-Mart parking lot trying to park in the space with the cart corral. Dishwater Johnson is...
Shirt In Or Out?
Kids always find ways to rebel against older generations. They do it through music and art and hair styles and more obviously, through clothing fashions. For instance, do you tuck your shirt in or leave it out? This was a conversation I had with a friend months...
Good TP & Low-Flow Toilets
There are two kinds of toilet paper: the good stuff and the other stuff. The good stuff is fluffy and squeezably soft while the other stuff is scratchy and noticably thin. The good stuff has commercials where kids cram it under their clothes and suddenly become...
We Are The World
We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving. That's how the song goes and even though tons of stars banded together to record it for a good cause, I hate the song with an intense passion. Why, you may ask? Why would I hate...
Pears: The Un-Fruit
What is the definition of a fruit? Dictionary.com defines it as "the edible part of a plant developed from a flower, with any accessory tissues." But I disagree. Fruit: Any manner of food that is eventually made into an artificial flavor used in Kool-Aid, Jolly...