I turned thirty-six about a month ago and as you can tell from my blog, I consider myself officially getting old. Well, middle aged at least. Thinning hair and aching joints have become priorities, which I think are a decent indication that any "Boy Toy" status I might could have achieved, has vanished.
Forever.
I've dated older women before, some of which were old enough to have birthed me. My favorite decade of music is the 60s, before I was even born. I love old house architecture and old cars and I've always been pretty mature for my age. So I guess that sort of explains the mutual attraction between me and older women.
And lately I've had older women flirt with me in ways that could only mean they were interested. Only now, older means a ten year difference rather than twenty. What is it about women in their forties that dig me?
And these women, they're not desperate. They're picky. They're looking for someone honest and true to themselves. Flaws in a man are actually a necessity because at their age, these women have discovered that perfection doesn't exist, it's a myth. Superficial qualities are not secondary, they've dropped back to tertiary status. Is forty a gold age now where you finally figure out what you're actually looking for? For both men and women?
I'm way off topic here because this blog was supposed to be funny, how me losing my youth and all those qualities I possessed that defined me as a possible "Boy Toy" have disappeared. I've gained forty pounds since college and although I carry it well on my big frame, I'd love to lose thirty of them. But my metabolism just isn't the same and my body can't keep up with my athletic wants.
In other words, ibuprofen has become a mainstay in my medicine cabinet. I'll soon be checking into Rogaine and Propecia. A couple more years and I'll need to begin yearly prostate cancer screenings.
I can never be a "Boy Toy" again. The fact I never was is beside the point; it's that I can't be because I've gotten too old that weighs on me. I've always been the marrying type anyway but still, it's the loss of my youth. It saddens me.
Middle age can be fun once you accept it. I guess. It's not like I have a viable choice.
I'm an eternal optimist so I know I'll eventually embrace it, but that doesn't make it any easier. At least I can still laugh at the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials. There's a modicum of comfort, right?