The Worst Position in Football

The Worst Position in Football

I never played football growing up because my mom wouldn’t let me.  I was accident prone enough without adding eleven guys to the equation, all in pads (read: armor) trying their best to knock me on my almost-non-existent ass .  But if I had played,...
The Raisin Bran Conspiracy

The Raisin Bran Conspiracy

I’m 36.  I’ve been in love more than once and I’ve done my fair share of traveling.  I’ve been to Disney World, I’ve seen the Grand Canyon, and I’ve partied in Time Square.  I’m 36 and I just had my first bowl of Raisin Bran....
The Lost Art of Shoe Tying

The Lost Art of Shoe Tying

 Kids nowadays, they got it made.  When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven.  The ones who are excited about going to school because homework is actually fun.  The ones who can still get away with an occasional poop in the pants.  The ones who...
Shooting At Suitcases

Shooting At Suitcases

Dangerous Luggage I caught the ass end of a movie on cable today.  I don’t remember the name of it but it doesn’t matter.  What I want to point out is that they were shooting at suitcases and I don’t know why. Actually, it was a typical Hollywood...
Public Booger Mining

Public Booger Mining

The First Knuckle Method. You’ve seen these people.  We all have.  The people that engage in some good old fashioned public booger mining. That’s my politically correct term for nose picking.  I call it booger mining.  Ingenious, huh?  Conjures up visions...
The Great Cereal Blog (part 2)

The Great Cereal Blog (part 2)

I don’t look this gay. First, The Great Cereal Blog (part 1) Remember when you were a kid and it was a big deal to go to the grocery store?  Do you recall why it meant so much to you?  Did it by any chance have anything to do with the venerated cereal aisle?...